Holes in the floor of Heaven

Tomorrow is my Dad's Birthday.  How do you celebrate it when he had recently died.  You have to acknowledge it.  But celebrate?  With tears?  How do you send a card?  We sent a card written on a helium balloon to heaven for Grandpa.  Not quite the same as calling and saying Hi.  But it seemed like a good idea.  My son thought it was a great idea and loved the idea.  Was thrilled to send a card.  So then was wondering if Grandpa would be able to get it and if he would send one back to us.  Happy Birthday Dad.

Words of Wisdom

I love word art on walls.  I have been thinking through decorating my house - even though the foundation forms are just getting done this week!!  But anyway I am planning ahead.  :)  I found lots of interesting statements and words of wisdom as I was looking and thought I would post them here for comment.

A boy is truth with dirt on its face, beauty with a cut on its finger, wisdom with bubblegum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket. - Alan Beck

A little boy is the only thing God can use to make a man.

The most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home - Harold B. Lee

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time but you can never fool your Mom.

The fondest memories are made when gathered around the table.

If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. -Frank A. Clark

In this home... We do second chances. We do grace. We do real. We do mistakes. We do I'm sorry. We do loud really well. We do hugs. We do family. We do prayers. We do faith. We do love.

Give the pupils something to do, not something to learn; and the doing is of such a nature as to demand thinking; learning naturally results. - John Dewey

Family is not letting petty differences get in the way of anything. It is about being true to yourself. It is about experiencing new adventures by entering the realm of others.

What a child doesn't receive he can seldom later give. - P.D. James

The world is but a canvas to the imagination. –Thoreau

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. - Thomas Edison

Bear in mind that the wonderful things you learn in your schools are the work of many generations. All this is put in your hands as your inheritance in order that you may receive, honor it, add to it, and one day faithfully hand it on to your children.  -Albert Einstein

He who never made a mistake never made a discovery. -Samuel Smiles

Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. Albert Einstein

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky

If you think education is expensive - try ignorance. - Derek Bok

I do not understand the mystery of grace--only that it meets us where we are, but does not leave us where it found us. -Anne LaMott

The art of teaching is the art of assisting in discovery.

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. -Edward Abbey

To invent you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. Thomas Edison

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. - Thomas Edison

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up noses, and some don't turn up at all. -Sam Ewing

Never let the fear of striking out get in your way. - Babe Ruth

It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer. -Albert Einstein

The only person who cannot be helped is that person who blames others. -Carl Rogers

The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things. -Plato

We're glad to have you as our guest, And hope you have a good night's rest. Tomorrow you again may roam, But while you're here just feel at home.

Education is what you get from reading the fine print. Experience is what you get from not reading the fine print.

Pay attention and you will learn something new every day of your life.

Once in the midst of a seemingly endless winter, I discovered within myself an invincible spring.

The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the Most of everything.

Trees are not known by their leaves, nor even by their blossoms, but by their fruits. -Eleanor of Aquitaine

Expressing anger is a form of public littering. Willard Gaylin

Mistakes are the portals of discovery. - James Joyce

I always prefer to believe the best of everybody - it saves so much trouble. -Rudyard Kipling

A person is only as big as the dream they dare to live.

The man who has no imagination has no wings.-Muhammad Ali

No one would ever have crossed the ocean if he could have gotten off the ship in the storm. -Charles Kettering

Live life in such a way that you can leave life with a shout of glory.

House update

I have had a long spring as you know if you read very far in this blog.  We had been planning to start building a house in February and life started imploding.  So house project took a very far back burner.  Almost totally out of the kitchen really.  Family came first and as we had a house that is very adequate to live in we have stayed there and commuted to take care of cows, irrigation, etc.  We think our brains are kind of starting to work now and so we are going to try to push this house project idea along again.  I got a building permit last week!  Yeah!  The road up to my house sight is almost done.  Should finish tomorrow.  I hope to meet with the contractor out there tomorrow or Friday to put new flags in the ground for our corners of the house.My husband pushed the old house out of the way, but did not light it on fire as it is SO dry everywhere.  My son and I moved some of the boards that we wanted to use to make something with or decorate with for our new house.  Maybe some trim or something.  Very neat looking.  Rattlesnake under that pile of boards.  Snake shot in a 9mm works really well.  I did put up our road address numbers at our entrance gate.  How cool is that!!  We also have the pond finished now and it looks really good.  Has been tried and tested by little boys and given two thumbs up of approval.    Now I just need to find some fish.  So I think things will be starting up with this project and get going here shortly.  Should be a fun next adventure!

Teamwork

It has been interesting, sometimes painfully so, working through the ramifications of my Dad's death.  It has been a learning curve that is painfully steep, I sometimes feel like I have been emotionally thrown at a brick wall and that is the curve I am supposed to climb.  As my siblings and I work together in a totally different capacity it has been revealing of all of us how we think and work.  All of us are very competent people.  All of us bring different backgrounds, experiences, jobs, thoughts, ideas and strengths and weaknesses to the table.  As we sort through things and jobs, life, memories, time, and events it is intriguing to watch how much different we are and yet at the core our beliefs and values are the same.  We all value and deeply love our families.  We all have a deep faith in God and a Hope in Him as well.  These are the core values that are the same in each of us.  But as a team we have many strengths and some differences in how we live out those values.  How our past and our experiences impact our worldview is an observation we don't always think about but is interesting to watch and experience.  After living overseas and in a culture I didn't always understand I find that I extend a lot of grace.  I give people totally the benefit of the doubt.  Especially if they are people I love and trust.  People I know have my best interest in mind.  If I don't understand why someone says something I try to look at the comment or action from their perspective and understand it.  If I still don't understand then I go to them and ask.  I want and seek to understand their perspective.  I think this comes from so many times not really understanding why someone did or said something that to me did not make sense coming from a different culture.  Culture is always an interesting study, even in your own there are differences and similarities, understandings and misunderstandings, words taken wrong and right.  Love and truth spoken and demonstrated though are always the knots that tie us together as a family as a unit and as a team.

Mine tour tears

Last fall my Dad was working on setting up a tour of a gold mine for any interested parties.  All of us thought it would be interesting and were on the list.  As Dad was a geologist and loved to talk about rocks and gold and deposits and all it was always educational to go out with him as you were bound to learn something.  We all made it to the tour and around.  It was interesting and fun but with a stick you with a knife type of poignancy that we were all there and Dad wasn't.  He would have loved it.  Would have found it so interesting.  Would have understood all that the other geologist had to say about the rocks and formations and ore and waste.  I kept wanting him to raise his hand and make a comment or ask a question or get us all to have a photo op with one of the HUGE 340 ton dump trucks, but he wasn't there.  It is weird.  And hard. And it is interesting those things that kind of blind side you and make your eyes water up.

Mutton Bustin'

Our town is very proud of their Oregon Trail heritage and every 4th of July they have a  rodeo and a park full of vendors which Makes for a fun event. This year we only made it to one of the rodeos but had a fun time. It was SO hot this year! As pre rodeo events they have some fun local flavor events including a kids mutton busting event. Kids under 65 pounds can  ride a sheep and try to ride for 6 seconds. While sheep don't really buck much they do have a BuMpY rUn. Kase has ridden a sheep 4 times and has really enjoyed it.  Last year he placed second. No trophy! All the kids who participate get little medals. But the winner each night gets a foot tall trophy. He really wanted a trophy and as by next year he will have gained those last 3 pounds separating him from not being able to participate this was his last chance. He rode a wool falling off ewe to the buzzer. Score of 69. He was pretty stoked about his Basque style ride. Backwards with his little chin bouncing and his bike helmet securely on his head.  As he was only third out of the chutes he then had to wait and watch as several other kids made their rodeo debut. Some in grand style and some in dusty style. No one was hurt and everyone had fun. No one had a higher score.
The announcer called him and the rodeo queen presented him with his trophy. He was SO excited! What a fun memory!

Cancer cells

This prayer means so much so please say the prayer for everyone and pass it on.

 A cancer cell is a strange cell.
 You can go along for years in remission
 and then one day it pops its head up again.
  If you ever have it you will never be free of it.
 Pray for the day there will be a permanent cure.

Dear God,
 I pray that You will guide someone to find a cure for cancer in 2012
 In Jesus Name, Amen

 In memory of anyone you know who has been struck down by cancer or is  still living with it.  And all the lives affected by it.

Fathers day

Father's Day We all survived today. I had kind of been hoping to skip this year as I knew it was going to be a hard one and it was. I did need to celebrate it though as I have a little boy who loves his Father very much. But I missed my father. I did good putting the days significance in the back of my mind until we got to church and were handed a happy fathers day bulletin. Then my Mom called and we cried together and took a while to get those tears checked. I sat thru Sunday school in class with tears flowing though I don't remember much of what we were reading as I really just wanted to call my Dad for Fathers day. I  have talked to him every year on this day for sure for my whole life. I even found a book the other day that I had bought to give him for Fathers day. That was tough. Having Fathers day fall one day after the 2 month mark didn't help much. Our pastor made a neat comment though that our family was very blessed to have a Dad that we all loved and respected so much to be missing and grieving him so deeply. Very true!  We went out fishing and touring for Fathers day. Didn't catch a thing but we did have fun. Then out to dinner with some friends who had been fishing the same place with the same luck! Home late. But it was a good day. We all survived. Just had to drink lots of water.

Tearful Moments

I am finding it interesting what sends tears coursing down my cheeks as I go through life now.  At Baseball last night, the Dad of one of Kase's team mates just retired from Active Duty and settled here in Vale.  He is now one of the men who so blessed our family as he does the burial detail involving 21 gun salutes, flag folding, and the ceremony involved with a Hero Burial.  When he told me that, I started to cry and just told him "Thank you so much for what you do!" 

Someone sent a youtube video link that was also a good one if you need your tear ducts cleaned out. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70Ikj1hZDnw

I still keep wanting to call Dad and chat with him about how life is going.  Doesn't work too well.  He was always our cheerleader and supporter and had so much wisdom.  My Mom came over to watch Kase in swimming lessons and at his baseball game.  We have such a fun time with her and I love my Mom dearly.  It is a bittersweet time though for all of us as it is in your face that Dad is not with us.  We loved having Mom here and she enjoyed her time too.  Just had some tearful moments.

Red pick-ups

So ever since I was in Junior high pretty much, my Dad drove a red Ford pickup. Once He had a white one but mostly red so it is a truck I associate with my Dad. The other day I was driving into town and a truck like Dads was driving up the road toward me. Maybe because I was stopped at the stop sign and really saw it or something I don't really know but I saw it well.y heart gave a lurch and the unexpectedness of it almost had me bawling in the hardware store. Those odd realities. The "never again" realities of life. These are hard and hurt your heart but you have to just keep walking. Breath in. Breath out.

Summer plans

Summer plans So somehow summer snuck up on me this year. I am a bit overwhelmed with the amount of deferred maintenance that we have worked  on a lot over the last few years and still have a ways to go on this ranch. Now it is on the market though and so I would really just like to sell it. Then someone else can deal with it and make it the way they want. I got  big blueprint plans the other day and that was quite exciting. I am ready to start on that project I think. Should be interesting. And a lot of work. But fun too.  It is so weird though to think that Fathers Day is coming up here in a few weeks and my Dad won't be here to celebrate with or  call or anything. It makes my eyes think they need to cry every time I think about that. So weird. Dad won't be coming to any of my sons baseball games. He will not show up at our mine tour. He won't make it to Marvin's wedding. I still keep thinking he will call me up but he hasn't. And won't. And that is hard. I am trying to move on and adjust to my new normal in life. I am not a basket case and crying all the time at all but it interesting to see what crops up that makes my eyes well up. I think the hardest part is wondering if there is another shoe that is dropping soon. Not sure I can handle another one right now. But I listen to the new Mercy Me song about the hurt - us- and the -healer- God colliding and knowing that one day all the tears will be washed away and the scares will be explained and knowing that it really is well with my soul. God does know what He is about. My dad wouldn't come back if he could. He is where he has had his eye fixed on for 40+ years and is loving heaven.  I know it deep down to be true but sometimes my heart still hurts. And I guess that is good. Summer will continue and the seasons will continue to change. The world is still turning. God is still in his heaven and I still trust in Him.

Moving on. . . .

So it has been a crazy winter and I feel like I am waking from a time warp some days. We wrapped up 3rd grade today! How much fun this s hook year has been. I love being a teacher almost all the time! There has been so much change this year though that mind seems to play tricks on me sometimes. I so wanted ask my Dads advice about something today and he wasn't there. Always has been there and it was an odd feeling to know I couldn't ask him and I was going to have to figure it out a different way. We made it thru though. I have felt like I was camping from my house this whole winter. Having spent more time living out of a suitcase than my dresser over the last several months has brought on that feeling I guess. But I unpacked my suitcase so maybe I will have too many clothes in my closet now. LOL! I have a new niece just born the other day! How cool is that! I think all of my family have hit our walls though. In talking to them all of us have been sleeping like logs and so exhausted. But I think it is just the finality of things coming down on us as well as a let off of some of the stress we all packed with us this winter. In some ways November seems like it was about 10 years ago and yesterday at the same time. Time warp thing! We went to a rodeo - just a fun day trip this last weekend and it was so fun and just nice to do something just for fun with no extra pressure or anything just simple. I guess I need to plan some more of that in for this summer.

Missings

So I was ready to call my Dad the other day. Didn't really have any new news or anything just wanted to chat about life. Was hard to realize I couldn't do that now. Odd thing to realize! I was telling my son that tho and told him that I had prayed then and asked Jesus to tell Grandpa what I needed to tell him and that I love and miss him. He said that the good thing about that is that you never get out of cell phone range that way! Too true! I love it. Good perspective. I am realizing that we all have these important people in our lives who we do the important and big things in life with. College. Marriage. Births. Deaths. That sort of thing. We are very blessed go have some of those sorts of friends. Dad was honored today by a packed out memorial service. The word we kept hearing over and over was how dad had impacted this person and that person. Whole schools. Organizations. People. Ministries. People. Families. Missions. People. It was near to hear and be blessed again by the love of a Dad and a man who loved God and followed and gave with everything he had.

Thoughts on packing.

So I have done a lot of packing. I travel a lot and pack light and go. I have for a long time. I have packed up my whole life into 7 pieces of luggage twice for international moves. I have helped friends do this packing up to. I kind of like packing. The last 3 days I have been helping my Mom, brother, sister in law pack up my Mom from her house to move to Oregon. We have sorted thru books, clothes, hunting gear, books, craft supplies, kitchen stuff, geology stuff, a few more books. All those things that a person who loved life and lived it to the full collects. It has been interesting and hard. I think the office has been the hardest because that space has been Dads domain for lack of a better word. But he Always had time for us. I kept waiting in my heart for him to walk in the door. And it was painful in my heart knowing he wasn't going to. We have had some fun memories made and some fun memories bared as we have worked together in this project too so that has been good.

21 gun salute & taps

The memorial service for Dad was good and terrible. Unreal and crazy real. A nightmare and reality. All at the same time it made everything so final and at the same time I kept expecting Dad to walk up to me as well and start visiting during the whole event. Taps makes me cry even on a good day and the haunting lilting tune echoing back to me from those trees being played because my Dad is the one who is no gone was powerful. The 21 gun salute was impressive and loud. But watching those honor guard soldiers in thier dress blues paying thier deep respect for a man they never knew but were there to honor was power personified. Young vibrant men there to honor. What a blessing to be a participant in this tradition. They crisply folded our flag and presented it to Mom. Then gave the 21 casings from the 21 gun salute as a keepsake of the honor of that day. Impactive! Thank you to so many who came that day to share our joy and pain. Our hope and our tears. Our loss and sadness but also the knowing that it is well with our souls.

Musings

So I have decided that meetings for funerals are no fun at all. Even though and partly because my Dad lived such a full and good life it has been so hard to be a part of these plans. I haven't even been in on much of the planning and prep as I was working on other things family this week, but my heart has been involved and it has been hard. Everyone is still in shock. Grieving. Wondering. Thinking. Sad. Happy for Dad. Wondering what to do next and what will happen next. I half expect half the time for Dad to come walking into the room or even more to call me. I took his cell phone out of my speed dial the other day that sure had a feeling of finality to it. I feel like there is a jagged hole in our fabric of our family. Dad aaapparently said he wanted to be buried under a pile of rocks - appropriately and so Mom brought a bunch of rocks up from Nevada. These are rocks collected from all over the globe and only a sampling of the collection we are sure to find in the garage. Some were labeled with dates, names, places and trips others just blank. Spots and memories of a life lived well. We will throw some on top of the casket.

Obituary for Dad

Donald James Decker, after a short season of cancer, finished his earthly journey and entered his heavenly home on April 16, 2012.  He was born August 22, 1944 to Glenn and Elizabeth Decker of Corvallis, OR.  He grew up on the family farm on Decker Road and was involved in 4H and Future Farmers of America throughout his school years.  As a youth he attended a revival in Philomath, OR and accepted Christ as his Savior.  This very important decision was a life changing event for him.

He attended local Corvallis schools and graduated from Oregon State University with a Bachelor of Science degree in Geology.  In 1968, he married Suzanne Whitney from Fortuna, CA.  After graduation in 1969, they moved to Reno, NV where they attended University of Nevada.  Don went to graduate school at MacKay School of Mines (now known as Mackay School of Earth Sciences and Engineering) where he earned his master's degree in Geology.

His geology career spanned the next 40 plus years in Nevada, Alaska, and Oregon where he searched for gold, silver, barite, and other precious metals.  Over time he acquired many interesting and compelling mining properties. A gifted geologist and successful businessman, he developed his own mining related companies: Decker Exploration, Century Gold, LLC, Faith Land, Faith Land and Minerals, and participated in American Innovative Minerals, LLC. 

After moving to Winnemucca, NV in 1973, he became the proud father of Russell (married to Lori), followed by Mary in 1977 (married to Dustin Baker), Amy in 1980 (married to Nathan Gillespie), and Matthew in 1984 (married to Melodie).  Don often read to them and wore out Picture Bibles as they were growing up.  He loved each of his children so very much and was proud of the adults they have become.  The family lived in various northeast Nevada locations before settling predominately in the Elko area.  In 1986, he and his family built a home in Lamoille, NV.  The Ruby Mountains were a wonderful view from their home and over the years he and his family enjoyed many outings there.

Don and his family relocated to Corvallis, OR in 1989.  In 1991, he earned another master’s degree in Christian Leadership from Western Conservative Baptist Seminary in Portland, OR.  He and Suzi moved back to Elko, NV in 1998.

Later, grandchildren came to delight his life as well - Jared, Emily, and Ethan Decker, Kase Baker, and Digeo Decker. As each grew, he was able to show them how to pan for gold as well as garnets from the Ruby Mountains and teach them basic geology.  He loved playing games and wrestling with them.

His gift of giving was another source of joy for him.  He encouraged many people to venture into short term mission work and supported many on long term missions in a variety of countries for his Savior and Lord.  He was privileged to travel to Mongolia and China on short term mission trips with Campus Crusade for Christ and The JESUS Film Projects.  He enjoyed giving to help build churches in various countries as well as funding education for future Christian leaders and workers through Multnomah University and various Christian schools in Oregon and Nevada.  One of his favorite Bible verses was, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21.  As a family, we have a huge deposit in heaven with our husband and father and grandfather.

He is survived by Suzi, his wife of 43 years, children, grandchildren, brothers Van Decker of Corvallis, OR and Everett Decker of Culver, OR, and their families.

In lieu of flowers, please donate in Don’s memory to :

·        Biblica  1820 Jet Stream Drive  Colorado Springs, CO 80921

·        The JESUS Film Project  PO Box 628222  Orlando, FL 32862-8222

·        Crown Financial Ministries  1035 Old Peachtree Road NW  Lawrenceville, GA 30043-3309

·        Young Life Foundation  P.O. Box 520  Colorado Springs, CO  80901-0520

·        Spring Creek Christian Academy  285 Spring Creek Parkway  Spring Creek, NV 89815

·        Multnomah University  8435 NE Glisan St.  Portland, OR 97220

·        Santiam Christian Schools 7200 NE Arnold Ave Corvallis, OR 97330

Waiting for the call

I got a phone all early yesterday morning that I am sure will alter my life in ways I do not even know of yet.  My Dad, who has always been my cheerleader, helper, friend, confidant, encourager, supporter, . . . .etc. has passed away.  I know I knew it would happen but still.  I feel like I was waiting for that phone call. 

So at breakfast we wondered through our tears, if when someone gets to heaven if there is a PA system call go out.  "Don Decker, Elko, NV, is arriving at pearly gate #2 in 5 minutes, as many of you here know him, please be on hand to greet him."  While there is nothing in the Bible about that, it was an interesting discussion point.  Lots of love there and lots of people Dad loved who were I am sure on hand to greet him.

Tax Day

This morning Dad took a turn for the worse.  Basically has slipped into a coma, from which he will awake in Heaven.  Dad has said for many years, that you should pay into your heavenly account more than what Uncle Sam will ask you to pay into your tax account.  And he lived this principle too giving generously to many groups, organizations and individuals to help them and further them in the various missions that they were involved in.  This year, I think my biggest deposit into my heavenly account is going to go soon as well.  I am sure Dad would laugh as he says to store your treasures in Heaven.  And in heaven the Gold is just PAVEMENT! 
Thank God for good friends who let you cry on their shoulders.  This is by far the most painful deposit I have ever made.  A hard down payment on heaven. 

Out with your boots on

I have always wondered about the phrase "going out with my boots on" and I think I am beginning to figure it out.  It is going out doing what you love, with those you love around, at peace with the world and everyone.  Not necessarily the way everyone gets to go out, but shouldn't we all live"like you were dying"???  Because really we are.  But we have a hard time admitting it.  I cried more today and so much that my eyes feel full of sand.  The reds of my eyes hurt.  But I feel like in the last year my Dad has gotten to do a lot of the things that would help him to "go out with his boots on" though I know that none of us would have chosen this process for the actual going!  He got to take some of his family to Alaska and introduce all the older grand kids to a place he loved!  He got to visit the smaller grand kids and enjoy good time with them in their new house.  He was at a dinner for a new Bible School in Reno the night before we found out abut the cancer.  He went to Mongolia - on a mission trip - another thing he loved and supported for years - in August with my family.  He got a new business partner to help with moving his company forward.  He went hunting with his family.  He was able to attend Grandpa Whitney's wedding to show his support.  He was able to see another step forward in the pit for his business.  He had a wonderful Christmas with all his family around him.  A few people came to him to make their peace after finding out about his cancer.  He got to see the next steps forward and help plan them for his family.  We are truly and richly blessed!