Whats it all about?

            So, as life continues to spin - seemingly out of control, we are realizing how little control we really have even though we tell ouselves that we are in control.  But really there are so many things in life that - while not always left to chance - are definitly left to God who is much Bigger than we are!  He ultimatly makes the decisions.  We are learning what it means when it seems the light at the end of the tunnle is growing brighter for my Dad and realizing that it is HEAVEN.  There is no cure for the type of cancer he has, here, but he will be totally whole again when he gets there.  Such a HOPE! 
           I am still wondering and trying to grasp the thoughts of God on this whole thing.  It seems that it is a wrong way to go out for a man who has followed God all of his adult life, but at the same time to God, our days seem like a puff of smoke. 

FINE

I learned a new acronym for FINE the other day from my Brother-in-Law.  I thought it was perfect for our current state of affairs. 

Freaked out
Insecure
Neurotic  or Normal?
Emotional or Exhausted

I have had lots of people ask how we are doing.  My usual response is Fine.  BUT, to my closer friends who really know what is happening with life, my response is - if you only ask once, I am fine, just don't ask twice or you get the real story.  :)

I am so blessed to have a family who love each other!  Who stick together through the tough stuff, and hang tightly together through this whole thing.  It is amazing how having a parent so very sick makes you put your priorities into place and realize that we really don't have the energy to sweat the small stuff - and there is so much small stuff we do! 

Move & Changes

            OK, so life has totally changed since my last post.  We have completely put our house project on hold as life has been a lot different.  We are already at the spot that we thought we would be in August or so with my Dad.  We thought that he would have a  break of time here where he would be good for a while and we would all have a time where we were able to get used to the idea of how things were going with Dad.  In the last two weeks has really gone down a lot.  He  has lost a lot of the ability that he had even a few weeks ago and so that has been hard to see. 
         We moved Mom and Dad to Bend this last week.  It was a logical well thought out, but fast decision.  We realized that we needed to get Mom somewhere that she could get more help.  She was getting very tired and Dad was having a harder time and  it did not seem like a good thing to not let Mom be a wife instead of a caregiver 24 hours a day for Dad.  That was hard for him and for her, but it was necessary to go to get more help for Dad.  We found a great place up here in Bend that is a 24 hour care place.  They kept telling us that all  we needed to do was push the button  and they would be there to help us do whatever needed done.  Mom is enjoying this place though as it is a good place for both of them.  Our whole family is there this week to help settle in.
        Our Dad had his doctors appointment last week and they were not good.  The doctor did an MRI and they were not able to see much difference.  But in the clinical changes that he has had in the last few weeks were too dramatic to not notice.  In looking at and talking to Dad the changes in him are meaning we are a lot closer to the end of this bad dream than I want to be.  I cried so much the other night I only had salt left.  Need to drink more water. :)
         Our house project we have totally put on hold and we have gone ahead with putting a pivot on our new place.  Seems we are still deciding what we are doing with it and with our place there.  Our house location is still staying the same and the signs and flags are still up, but it is all on hold.  But the ranch is still for sale and so we are still in the process of finding a place, but we are also doing well.  I do know for a fact though that I will never live in a tent except when I am camping.  And so for that, I am very grateful.  I don't need to worry about that.  It has been an adventure getting going on this house building project,  but while it has been so much fun, it seems that there is a lot of irons in the fire right now and it is OK!  We will make it through this part of life.  We have a wonderful family who we all love each other and will make it.  I know God has a plan for this life and even the part that we are in now, but I am not sure how it will work.

Flags in the ground!

            So we are finally ready to go.  We need to get several things in place still, but we are finally ready to move forward.  We have our final house plan done and now we are ready to get things going! 
          
           My son has made the first house on the place though, he claims in that his fort is almost done and he is so loving that!  He is having so much fun and loves this place!  That is so much fun to watch his life blossom.  We are loving the excitement and things that are being made and the plans that God is bringing. 

We are having challenges and life is so stressful but we are all really trying to cope and hold together and stay as a family and keep things going and help our Mom and Dad and be able to have things to work the best that is possible.  Life seems a little up in the air.   The stress of life is insane but our family if hanging together and we are staying close.  In contact and loving each other.