Cancer cells

This prayer means so much so please say the prayer for everyone and pass it on.

 A cancer cell is a strange cell.
 You can go along for years in remission
 and then one day it pops its head up again.
  If you ever have it you will never be free of it.
 Pray for the day there will be a permanent cure.

Dear God,
 I pray that You will guide someone to find a cure for cancer in 2012
 In Jesus Name, Amen

 In memory of anyone you know who has been struck down by cancer or is  still living with it.  And all the lives affected by it.

Fathers day

Father's Day We all survived today. I had kind of been hoping to skip this year as I knew it was going to be a hard one and it was. I did need to celebrate it though as I have a little boy who loves his Father very much. But I missed my father. I did good putting the days significance in the back of my mind until we got to church and were handed a happy fathers day bulletin. Then my Mom called and we cried together and took a while to get those tears checked. I sat thru Sunday school in class with tears flowing though I don't remember much of what we were reading as I really just wanted to call my Dad for Fathers day. I  have talked to him every year on this day for sure for my whole life. I even found a book the other day that I had bought to give him for Fathers day. That was tough. Having Fathers day fall one day after the 2 month mark didn't help much. Our pastor made a neat comment though that our family was very blessed to have a Dad that we all loved and respected so much to be missing and grieving him so deeply. Very true!  We went out fishing and touring for Fathers day. Didn't catch a thing but we did have fun. Then out to dinner with some friends who had been fishing the same place with the same luck! Home late. But it was a good day. We all survived. Just had to drink lots of water.

Tearful Moments

I am finding it interesting what sends tears coursing down my cheeks as I go through life now.  At Baseball last night, the Dad of one of Kase's team mates just retired from Active Duty and settled here in Vale.  He is now one of the men who so blessed our family as he does the burial detail involving 21 gun salutes, flag folding, and the ceremony involved with a Hero Burial.  When he told me that, I started to cry and just told him "Thank you so much for what you do!" 

Someone sent a youtube video link that was also a good one if you need your tear ducts cleaned out. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70Ikj1hZDnw

I still keep wanting to call Dad and chat with him about how life is going.  Doesn't work too well.  He was always our cheerleader and supporter and had so much wisdom.  My Mom came over to watch Kase in swimming lessons and at his baseball game.  We have such a fun time with her and I love my Mom dearly.  It is a bittersweet time though for all of us as it is in your face that Dad is not with us.  We loved having Mom here and she enjoyed her time too.  Just had some tearful moments.

Red pick-ups

So ever since I was in Junior high pretty much, my Dad drove a red Ford pickup. Once He had a white one but mostly red so it is a truck I associate with my Dad. The other day I was driving into town and a truck like Dads was driving up the road toward me. Maybe because I was stopped at the stop sign and really saw it or something I don't really know but I saw it well.y heart gave a lurch and the unexpectedness of it almost had me bawling in the hardware store. Those odd realities. The "never again" realities of life. These are hard and hurt your heart but you have to just keep walking. Breath in. Breath out.

Summer plans

Summer plans So somehow summer snuck up on me this year. I am a bit overwhelmed with the amount of deferred maintenance that we have worked  on a lot over the last few years and still have a ways to go on this ranch. Now it is on the market though and so I would really just like to sell it. Then someone else can deal with it and make it the way they want. I got  big blueprint plans the other day and that was quite exciting. I am ready to start on that project I think. Should be interesting. And a lot of work. But fun too.  It is so weird though to think that Fathers Day is coming up here in a few weeks and my Dad won't be here to celebrate with or  call or anything. It makes my eyes think they need to cry every time I think about that. So weird. Dad won't be coming to any of my sons baseball games. He will not show up at our mine tour. He won't make it to Marvin's wedding. I still keep thinking he will call me up but he hasn't. And won't. And that is hard. I am trying to move on and adjust to my new normal in life. I am not a basket case and crying all the time at all but it interesting to see what crops up that makes my eyes well up. I think the hardest part is wondering if there is another shoe that is dropping soon. Not sure I can handle another one right now. But I listen to the new Mercy Me song about the hurt - us- and the -healer- God colliding and knowing that one day all the tears will be washed away and the scares will be explained and knowing that it really is well with my soul. God does know what He is about. My dad wouldn't come back if he could. He is where he has had his eye fixed on for 40+ years and is loving heaven.  I know it deep down to be true but sometimes my heart still hurts. And I guess that is good. Summer will continue and the seasons will continue to change. The world is still turning. God is still in his heaven and I still trust in Him.