Reserve Tank

The truck I drove as a new driver had dual fuel tanks.  My Dad - who traveled many thousands of miles on many of those "in the middle of nowhere" type of roads told me to always switch tanks when your first tank was down to 1/4.  That was the reserve.  You still had 1/4 of a tank to get to fuel.  To not have to walk.  I used it a few times and was always grateful that I listened to that wise advise.  Once driving from Paradise Valley to Lakeview I planned to fill up in Denio.  There was no fuel there.  So either turn and go back to Winnemucca or keep going.  I used up most of my reserves on that trip but was glad that I had a reserve tank.  I didn't run out of gas though. 
I think all my personal reserve tanks have been drained in my life over the last three years.  I like having a buffer in my life.  That reserve that keeps me a ways from the edge.  A little protection from hitting the wall.  It seems that all of life has gotten more raw.  LIFE HAPPENS!  That extra five minutes that I like to have don't always happen.  The extra $20 in my wallet isn't always there.  I always seem to have tears though.  The extra bit of sure I can take on that responsibility or that project is definitely gone.  Life keeps happening.  Reserve is supposed to be there to soften those bumps.  To give the extra padding to a rough road.  To help you get to point B.  I think loosing two close Grandparents and a much loved Dad in under 3 years has drained that tank or tanks.  I get blindsided by people, things, responsibilities, questions, thoughts, ideas and just life.  It seems that all of life has many more twists and turns.  There are the "what - if" questions.  The I should or I shouldn't statements.  The Is this really true questions.  The is it worth it thoughts.  All those things that have been buffered by the deep roots of a deep reserve that is now down.  At church the other day we sang a song that said I will not be shaken.  But I felt like I have been.  Like my life has shaken to its roots.  Not that I am wavering on those roots.  But they have been shaken.  They are being tested.  Some days I fail and those roots pull up.  Some days the roots go in deeper.  But the reserves are in need of some space.  Some refilling.  Some time.  Some healing.  So I guess I need to learn to dance in the rain and the storms of life.  Get the tanks filled back up.  Get a Reserve tank filled again.

 

Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass... Its about learning to Dance in the rain!