Getting Ready....

So when you go out these days everyone asks if you are ready for Christmas.  When you are shopping... meeting friends... at church... getting coffee... at the post office... out to eat... everywhere.  I guess that Christmas is coming whether I am ready or not.  I think I am a little more ready for Christmas than I was last year.  In this month last year I was building my house.  Putting in long and fun hours that would put the finishing touches on our house project.  It made for a busy Christmas season and while Christmas comes around every year on the same day, I kind of got caught off guard when it was Christmas.  My mom came over and we enjoyed a fun Christmas together but had been working hard too.  Our house was finished soon after and I was glad we had put in those long hours.  But getting ready for Christmas this year has been fun.  Have a beautiful home to host Christmas parties in.  We had a wonderful one last night. 
I know there will be a hole at our Christmas celebration.  A couple of them actually.  My Grandparents did not get the Christmas card that I sent out as it is hard to get them sent to heaven.  My Dad wont get one either for the same reason.   Trying to get ready for those memories as they are going to hit.  This makes all of the Christmas memories bitter and sweet.  Sad and fun to remember at the same time.  The memories hurt and bring tears at the oddest of times.  They make you wonder.  They make you want to run.  They make you glad for what you have.  There is a lot of life in the memories.  Lots of living.  Lots of things that have been gotten ready for.  My Dad got ready for heaven all his life.  So did my Grandparents.  Not that they were perfect.  We all make mistakes.  Do things wrong.  Do things right. But tried.  I guess we all get ready for life  and the occasions that it brings.  The legacy he left behind is going to continue on.  The memories and love will continue.

Sizes

Since my son was born we have always said he looks more like my husbands family and yet has the build of my side of the family.  When he was born he had feet much too long for those tiny newborn socks or shoes.  When we lived in Mongolia I could only buy his shoes at the German shoe shop.  They would send containers of used clothing and shoes to Mongolia, kind of like a thrift store that came to another country.  The shoes would be quality not found on the new shoe racks in the market.  If I looked at those shoes and would try them on my son, the shoes were about half again as wide as his feet were as he had such long thin feet.  As he grew I would joke with him that when he got to be the same size of shoes that I wear, I would go shoe shopping!  Well today we went shopping for some sandals.  Going on vacation and needed shoes that could do a beach.  We were trying on shoes and I realized that my 10 year old was wearing my size shoe!  Yikes.  I guess I better go shoe shopping or he will be outgrown of my size! 

Cold . . . Rembering . . . .

It has gotten cold here the last few days.  Plumbers and heating guys and electricians putting in long hours getting power, water, electricity back on to people who have lost them.  It was -11 here on Sunday morning.  We were blessed as all our vehicles started and the tractor has a cab - no heater - but still a cab to sit in out of the wind while plowing snow.  The 8 inches of snow we woke up to has definitely not melted.  So I have been feeding the fire and staying warm.  The cows are now getting fed and they seem to think that is a good plan for them.  They need those calories each day. 
 The baby calves are all so fuzzy and hairy.  Looking so cute and curious still.

As this fall has hit I keep remembering back to last year at this same time.  This week last year I was putting on the deck and going into the crazy month of December when we spent LLOONNNGGG days working on the house.  Painting. Trimming. Putting in flooring. Cabinets. Electricity.... all kinds of stuff.  Lots of fun.  Good memories made. Strong friendships forged. Laughter. Sweat. Tears. Blood. Pencils sharpened. Writing on the walls. Splinters. New drills. The day we finally had power.  The house still "shutting off". Driving in the dark both to and from our house. The absolute darkness at our new house.  Snowy roads. Birthday brownies. Generators running. Inspectors. Shelving. Friends. Tiles. The end in sight. Packing boxes. Lunches on the floor. Discovery of things new.  Mistakes. Questions. Lack of sleep. Fun. Laughter. Creating. I loved it.  I am still enjoying the benefits of it.  What fun and interesting times of life.  The way they change and mold us.  Would not change it for the world.  But how has it all changed me? 

Decorating.... Thoughts.....

While I am definitely not "Martha Stewart" I do enjoy decorating.  I have laughed at myself many times over the last year though as I have debated what needs to go where in my new house.  I realized today that a year ago this week I was screwing down deck boards and the sheetrock guys were making the walls no longer able to be walked through.  I still have several blank walls that I still have not decided what should belong there.  It has been an experience.  A fun one. Sometimes funny!

This year we get to celebrate Christmas in our new house.  We are getting a Christmas tree.  Today we hung up lights on my beautiful deck.  We set up the Snowy Village scene.  The Nativity Scene.  Got the Advent Calendar out.  The small snowmen.  Sorted through a pile of tree decorations and figure out where the tree should go in our house.  We had so much fun.  I realized that last year I did not do much for Christmas decorating.  We did have a tree - I have pictures - and I think it just had lights on it!  And presents underneath it. I was busy building a home.  The year before that was Christmas in Reno in a hotel around Cancer treatments.  I have pictures of this Christmas too.  Many in my head and heart and several on film as well.  One of those "lasts."  The year before that had been hosting Thanksgiving at the ranch and so I had kind of decorated for Christmas too.  But it has been a while since I had truly gotten to decorate for Christmas.  What a treat.  To celebrate for a month!  To have parties to attend.  Christmas lights to enjoy out on my deck.  Enjoy the sights of other decorations as well as I drive around town.  Interesting sorting through the memories as well as the decorations.  Several decorations that my Grandma had painted.  Some I had made or bought for my Dad and my Grandpa.  Realizing anew that they will not be getting a Christmas card from me.  That I could not call them up for any Holiday.  That life may be getting decorated and looking good but there are definitely still spots that cause pain. 

Christmas treasures hidden away in gift wrapped secrets. Music. Mistletoe. Wrapping. Surprises. Secrets. Phone calls. Family time.  Memories shared. Hot Chocolate. Apple Cider. Sledding - I hope! The Christmas story. Friendships built on.  Memories made.

Pond Views

During the last few weeks, I have been holding down the home front.  It has worked really well.  We have had a good time....  Played board games... built a model plane... Had a wonderful visit with my Mom.... watched some movies... Chopped wood... Delivered a couple of calves.... Oiled all the wood trim in my house - looks amazing! - organized the pantry ... took some time off.... Did some fun school. 
While I have been taking care of the cows and my nurse cow and leppy calves I drive by our small pond a couple times a day.  I marvel at the changes in the look of my pond.  Some days it is so dark the only thing you can see is what there is reflected in my headlights. Other times it is dark with reflections off the stormy clouds.... rain spattered ... wind blown .... totally peaceful .... Rocks thrown in making ripples small and large blossoming from the impact... calm.... reflecting... Sometimes I think that my life is reflected like that pond.  All those same feelings and emotions.  Sometimes roiling.  Other times calm.  Peaceful.  Tear spattered.  Rippling around with my life bouncing and hitting the impact of other lives and choices running into mine as well.  Lots of life happening. 
Interesting to see how life continues to be an interesting view.  So watch those ponds.  Enjoy the view.  Enjoy the sun rises and sunsets reflected in the water.  There is so much beauty to be enjoyed each and every day.  Enjoy!    

..... Trips .....

Got Dustin off on his trip today.  He is excited to be going.  We had to be in Boise shortly after 8 in the morning and so left early.  But it was fine.  We were a bit late, but not too bad.  As the airport parking is under construction it was a bit tricky to park.  But he got off and as far as I know is on his way to Mongolia. 
As we were in Boise so early in the day, we went on a field trip. We were as my friend put it "car-schooling". Partly doing reconnaissance for a field trip in the spring with a bunch of boys for Gold Rush Class.  We had a beautiful, amazing drive!  The fall colors were stunning. For about 20 miles following a river through a canyon with incredible views the whole way.  Gold. Red. Orange. Yellow. Some green thrown in. All beautiful. Some reflected on the river and all in amazing contrast to the browns and greens of the canyon.  An incredible study in the colors of fall.  I wanted to rent a convertible and go on a slow drive.  Though I do like my truck.  :)
We wandered through the streets of a town that was once the biggest city in the Northwest.  Now much smaller.  A bunch of historical buildings.  If those walls could talk I am sure the stories would be interesting.  From an old school building that is now the city hall, to a building that was for "Pestilence ward" - or quarantine for the seriously contagious.  An interesting museum built by the man who is called the "father of Boise".  A beautiful new library building.  A pioneer cemetery dating back to the wild days of the town.  1860's.  Over 3000 people buried in this cemetery.  Only about 300 in identifiable graves.  Some with history.  Many unknown.  Many with a story to tell.  Victims of murder, disease, and accidents.  Small children.  Young women. Old and young men.  From all over the world.  Rich. Poor.  Dearly loved. Unknown.  Makes you think.  Where would I fit in that list.  Not being morbid, just thinking.  All those people, the good, the bad, ugly, beautiful, young and old.  You can't escape death.  We should have the hope of the eternal life that comes after.  LIFE is Stronger than Death. 
On our way home we stopped and visited with some friends.  Then home.  We truly are so blessed.  We have wonderful friends.  Lives that connect with ours.  We live in a beautiful country and a beautiful home.  We have families that we can count on and care for.  Truly we are blessed.

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of time, like dew on the tip of a leaf. -Tagore

Processing . . . . .

Last Sunday I got another one of those phone calls. . . The kind you wonder about . . . The kind you don't want to get . . .  At church that morning a friend had mentioned driving by a bad accident on the way there that morning.  As we know a lot of people who drive that road . . . you wonder.  That afternoon I found out.  Good friends.  People I had know since I was a young teenager.  Both parents Gone. . . Driving to church . . . Instantly arriving in heaven . . . Hitting the back of a farm truck hard enough to break the axel on the truck and send it careening into a field. . . Tragic Loss. . . So Fast . . . No preparation - except they had been preparing all their lives.  Parents who were involved.  Loved their kids . . . Excited for some new grandkids in the spring. . . Helped the community . . . Involved . . . Ministers - in heart. . . Caring and loving. . . Funeral was yesterday.  Packed out facility.  Dustin estimated 550 or 600 people.  If there would have been a sharing and impact moments from their lives into each person in attendance - we would still be there!  Good service.  The kids all had the shell shocked look.  Of I have to get through this, but I am still processing.  Not even realizing how much this day will impact them for the next weeks, months and years.  Life changing.  John was so much like my Dad in many ways.  Never had met a stranger.  A minister in heart, but not occupation.  Someone who cared about people.  Would become involved in their lives because he truly cared for them.  Wanted to help them.  Cared about Who you were as a person and how you were doing as a person.  Would travel to see people  . . . Would give you a big daddy hug . . .  So yesterdays funeral was hard . . . Partly because of another big heavenly deposit made from my life . . . and partly due to the ones already made. . . flashbacks . . . A song . . . A word . . . A picture . . . Hitting way too close to the missing in my own life.  I find that the process of grief changes - but never truly goes away.  Things still happen that send you spinning.  Life happens and you wonder if your anchor will hold.  I guess that is when you are being held and carried.

http://www.argusobserver.com/obituaries/john-and-angela-hendricks/article_997ed8c4-31ca-11e3-8aef-001a4bcf887a.html?mode=story

Craigslist finds

I love Craigslist.  As I was building my house I found lots of high end items at low end prices on Craigslist.  My contractors teased me about my finds.  But they appreciated them too.  And as an involved home building homeowner it kept my per square foot price much lower than it could have been.  So I love to find good deals on Craigslist. 
As I have extra calves with no momma - except me - I went looking on - you guessed it - Craigslist - to find a momma cow for my calves.  I needed a milk breed cow one with enough milk production to feed 2-3 calves.  Most beef breeds will not do this so well.  But I really did not want a huge Holstein cow as to me they always look skinny and they are huge!  And sometimes not too good of disposition.  I found Jerseys and Brown Swiss but none ready to take a calf right now - or too far away.  Then one 1/2 Holstein and 1/2 Hereford.  A cross of the beef cow and milk breed cows.  Only 3 years old.  Came with 2 calves that are already 5 months old.  Only just across the border in Idaho.  I went and got her.  So far she is working great.  I don't have to mix bottles up for my extra calf.  He figured out where the meals come from and is quite persistent in getting his food.  She is not really thrilled to have him, but as long as she has some grain to eat she placidly stands there and lets him drink his fill.  He is thrilled to have a momma!  So I now have a milk cow.  Gotta love Craigslist.

Cows . . . Calves . . . and Travel preparations

About a month ago my husband told me that he would like to go back to Mongolia this fall.  Fine with me, but I was not going.  I loved our time in Mongolia. I love many people there, but did not have the emotional energy to plan a long trip on short notice.  So he is going.  As long as there is no irrigation water to move and I don't have to feed cows yet, I can deal with the cows.  They are calving right now though and will continue while he is gone.  So I get to play cow nurse.  Lately I have been playing Mom to some calves and hopefully that stint will be up tomorrow when I go pick up a nurse cow.  The theory is that she will take the two calves that I am bottle feeding and will raise them like a mom cow is supposed to.  As she is 1/2 Holstein she should have plenty of milk for the two calves.  Dustin is going to be gone through much of the calving time and so I have been working on his list of what I need done before he goes on his trip.  He is excited to be going.  I know he will have fun.  I will too.  As he and my son have been hunting over the last few weeks a day here and there, I have gotten all sorts of my projects done.  That has felt nice.  I have a list I am planning to do while he is gone too.  In addition to playing cow nurse. 

Friends

I have realized how blessed I am with the friends I have.  I have friends from college who together we have been through thick and thin times.  Laughed ... cried ... told stories ...  attended church with ....  Homeschooled ... gone to funerals .... vacationed .... business partners together.  So many things and so much history.  I have friends that we made in Mongolia.  People who we now contact on Skype and visit.  Dustin is going back to Mongolia to visit this fall.  I am sure he will have a splendid time.  Friends there that we built houses with ... Visited the Gobi ... lived next to in a Ger (yurt) ... Stumbled through language school with ... Struggled with the cold together ... Shared life together with.  I have friends who I have only met since returning to the states.  Friends that have watched as my life has shattered the last few years.  Friends who have given hugs.... shared coffee.... Vegetables from their gardens when I didn't even get one planted.... Watched my son .... Helped me stain trim boards .... caulk siding ... Build a deck ... Paint .... Trim .... live .... So many things shared.  I have gotten to watch and be with them through life happening in their lives as well.  New jobs... birthday parties ... Christmas .... Rodeos .... Quitting a job.... Helping others... Broken down cars... Sickness and death in their families... kids learning to drive ... Fishing trips... Life! 
I am so blessed and so amazed at the variety of people that are in my life.  Old friends who are close.  New friends with shared new experiences.  Each one bringing a new richness to my life.  Wanting to add back to others the rich blessing that my friends bring to me.  Each person a precious part of my life.  Wanting that richness to continue.  Whether I see and talk to them daily, or not,  I know that my life has been enriched by their love and sharing and by the memories shared.

Calves ... now a Leppy

We have fall calving cows  So we have begun calving in this last week.  I love baby calves.  I think that they are one of the cutest of the baby creatures.  With their big ears... gangly legs...soft noses ... curious eyes under long eyelashes ... they are cute.  When they grow up into cows they quite loose the cute factor ... but the first month or so they are pretty cute.  Generally our cows take care of themselves when they calve.  We show up to make sure the baby gets a shot and an ear tag.  To me this is a splendid system.  The mom cleans them all up, feeds them, cares for them, guards them.  The other day though my husband brought me a calf in the back of the UTV.  It does not seem to have a mom.  We think that there were twins and only one got claimed by the mom.  No cow is searching for her lost calf.  So now I have a Leppy Calf.  A calf with no mom to care for it.  I get to be the mom and feed it every so many hours.  Making sure it gets what it needs.  It was cold and hungry.  We made it a shelter in the pig pen out of hay bales.  He was pretty weak and I really wasn't too sure if he would make it, but he is getting stronger.  And now I think he will.  I gave him some medicine and good warm milk with electrolytes mixed in.  That perked him up and he is doing well.  As I was headed out in the dark to feed him I remembered running down the driveway to the barn to feed my bummer lambs as a kid.  A warm bottle of milk inside my shirt to keep it and me warm in the cold.  These were lambs in the same boat - with no mom to care for them.  It seems to be cold and dark all the time when you have to feed bummers or leppies.  Though now as I am the Mom, I realize that my mom must have fed our lambs during the day while we were at school.  Thanks Mom!  I laughed at myself though thinking that this is one of those things that I did not realize to put in my job description of living in the countryside and having livestock.  I guess I better add it. 

Turning 10

My little boy is gaining double digit age this weekend.  Still seems funny to me.  I am not that old am I?  Last weekend we went looking for a fun place to have a birthday party for a bunch of boys and boy did we hit the nail on the head.  They had SO much fun.  What a kick.  First we met for lunch at my new favorite burger place.  Family friends of ours run it and the burgers are AMAZING!  If you are in the area and want yummy food and fun people go!  Well worth the drive!
 http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/95/1708004/restaurant/Mom-Pops-Burgers-Boise
We had our camouflage cupcakes there and opened presents.  Of course this took some doing as there were fighter jets doing maneuvers and who wants to eat when you can watch that!  They were having fun.  Then we went down to the Idaho Military History Museum. http://museum.mil.idaho.gov/
Sounds boring - right?  That's what one of the boys told me.  I thought this was going to be a boring party - at a museum.  But it was SO fun!  Outside the museum there are about 7 tanks of various eras parked that you are free to climb all over.  A couple of jeeps.  A beautifully restored ambulance. An amphibious duck troop transport. A bigger troop transport truck.  3 jets.  You can be sure that after all together climbing in on and around all the equipment we soon had a small pretend war going on.  The boys and our lone girl divided into sides - which changed regularly - and with no props of any sort soon were re-fighting several wars.  They were running ... ducking ... "shooting" ... racing the tanks ... and watching for the enemy aircraft - the still maneuvering fighter jets.  They played for about an hour.  Got some water. Went into the museum and saw all the interesting things in there even asking questions and learning some history.  Then back out for more war games.  There was definitely no boring in this party!  They all had a wonderful time and played so well.  What a fun birthday idea this was.  These boys used their imaginations and played with tanks!  What fun.  Happy Birthday!

Fun Time.... visiting.... friends

Had fun visitors this weekend.  My Mom here visiting and we have had fun visiting... planning a birthday party for next weekend...  Going to a friends birthday this afternoon... Having another friend call out of the blue who was on her way through and stop by for dinner...Lots of fun...
Another visit was planned a few weeks ago at my Grandpas funeral.  His good friend was planning to come up to Pendleton for the Roundup and so I said well stop in and see us.  He said OK.  And it was settled.  How fun.  He  showed up at my friends birthday BBQ and started telling stories.  Some of my Grandpa, many of his own... had us all in stitches a few times laughing so hard.  He has traveled all over... done a lot... cowboy all his life... Gone on Safari... Helped tribes in Africa... Shot problem elephants... Lots and lots of stories... It was fun listening... Hearing about a life lived fully... It took me back in time though.  It seemed like I was listening to my Grandpa tell similar stories 10 years ago... Lively... Vibrant ... Brimming... Funny... Hearing stories and visiting with a friend who added richness to my Grandparents lives for years and now is adding to mine.
 It is interesting how life changes.  We meet people who become such a part of our existence that we can't picture life without them.  But looking back we lived without them for so long.  Now they add to our lives a rich fullness.  I am so grateful for the friends we have made ... for the lives so intertwined with ours that going for fun birthdays, coffee, Christmas, lunch, whatever is just part of how life changes and adds to the richness of all our lives.  I am grateful for the friends I have.  Those I call... see... text... Skype... regularly.  We all bring a richness and many blessings to a friendship. 

Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this.    - Henry Ford

Trash and Treasures

I have heard it said many times that one mans trash is the treasure of another.  But sometimes it still is just trash.  We recently purchased some storage units.  They are in good shape structurally, but need some TLC.  Some cosmetic help.  Some clean-up.  So once more my friend Crispin and I were working on a project.  This was by far the dirtiest project we have done and we were so glad to be done with it.  Often we wondered why in the world people would leave _____________?  Several units had been totally abandoned and just needed cleaned out.  We rented a dump trailer and filled it 5 times in a day and a half.  You know it is bad when the ladies who weigh your truck in and out at the dump know you!   There was simply a lot of trash.  One unit was full of boxes of hangers.  Several of just garbage.  Stuff in boxes.  Stuff loose.  Bills. Pictures. Clothing. Papers. Toys. Shoes. A fake Christmas tree. Baskets. Boxes. Bins. More paper. Cans. Bottles. Tires. We did not find any treasure.  We were not looking too hard though.  We did look in the purses for money.  Didn't find any.  But we were not sorting.  We were not really interested.  We were cleaning out junk and fast.  It was hot and I am sure we did not smell too good.  I have laughed though at how many people have asked me if we sorted through it to find treasure.  "haven't you seen that show ...."  No I haven't seen the show and even if I had I don't think I would have changed my tune.  We were getting rid of someone else's trash and it was not treasure... just trash. 

When we were just down at my Grandpas funeral my husband went up to Grandpas neighbor who had been keeping some stuff for Grandpa.  We thought a box or two and two chainsaws.  Instead the whole back of my pickup was full.  And they did not bring some of the stuff that clearly was already just trash.  But maybe in the stuff he brought there would be some treasure.  There was.  Some of both.  Some tins of food - with my Grandma's writing from before her stroke!  At least 8 years old.  But antique tins.  Throw out the contents.  A bunch of tools.  Some I am sure belonging in a museum.  Treasures.  Trash.  Sometimes the line between the two is very fine!  And other times like at our storage units it is very definite. 

Reserve Tank

The truck I drove as a new driver had dual fuel tanks.  My Dad - who traveled many thousands of miles on many of those "in the middle of nowhere" type of roads told me to always switch tanks when your first tank was down to 1/4.  That was the reserve.  You still had 1/4 of a tank to get to fuel.  To not have to walk.  I used it a few times and was always grateful that I listened to that wise advise.  Once driving from Paradise Valley to Lakeview I planned to fill up in Denio.  There was no fuel there.  So either turn and go back to Winnemucca or keep going.  I used up most of my reserves on that trip but was glad that I had a reserve tank.  I didn't run out of gas though. 
I think all my personal reserve tanks have been drained in my life over the last three years.  I like having a buffer in my life.  That reserve that keeps me a ways from the edge.  A little protection from hitting the wall.  It seems that all of life has gotten more raw.  LIFE HAPPENS!  That extra five minutes that I like to have don't always happen.  The extra $20 in my wallet isn't always there.  I always seem to have tears though.  The extra bit of sure I can take on that responsibility or that project is definitely gone.  Life keeps happening.  Reserve is supposed to be there to soften those bumps.  To give the extra padding to a rough road.  To help you get to point B.  I think loosing two close Grandparents and a much loved Dad in under 3 years has drained that tank or tanks.  I get blindsided by people, things, responsibilities, questions, thoughts, ideas and just life.  It seems that all of life has many more twists and turns.  There are the "what - if" questions.  The I should or I shouldn't statements.  The Is this really true questions.  The is it worth it thoughts.  All those things that have been buffered by the deep roots of a deep reserve that is now down.  At church the other day we sang a song that said I will not be shaken.  But I felt like I have been.  Like my life has shaken to its roots.  Not that I am wavering on those roots.  But they have been shaken.  They are being tested.  Some days I fail and those roots pull up.  Some days the roots go in deeper.  But the reserves are in need of some space.  Some refilling.  Some time.  Some healing.  So I guess I need to learn to dance in the rain and the storms of life.  Get the tanks filled back up.  Get a Reserve tank filled again.

 

Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass... Its about learning to Dance in the rain!

Heavenly deposits

This last few years, I have made some big heavenly deposits. It has thrown lots of curve balls into my life.  Stress... Grief .... lack of sleep.... all of the above .... throw interesting bits of LIFE into us.  I have asked more questions, gotten fewer answers over the last few years than any time of my life.  Had new challenges... New questions... Odd thoughts.... Crazy dreams.... Life is interesting. 

As I have gone through this time of life, I have signed up for a daily email about life, death, grief.  Always have interesting ones that come.  Letting me know that my current struggles are the same that many people have felt since the beginning of time. Today's was so true.  So simple.  The truth of the million dollar question.  How do I get to heaven?

The Road to Heaven  Day 279

Do you know how to get to heaven?

The Bible clearly states there is only one way to get to heaven: "Jesus answered, 'I
am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through
me'" (John 14:6).

A person cannot enter heaven through good deeds and moral behavior. You cannot enter
heaven by attending church or by having Christian parents: "This [is] not from
yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians
2:8-9).

Eternal life is a free gift from God, but it is only given to those people who believe in
and surrender control of their lives to Jesus.

"He who believes in the Son [Jesus] has eternal life" (John 3:36 NASB).

*Lord, I want to make sure that I'm going to heaven. And I want to live each day with the
knowledge of my eternal destination. Thank you, God. Amen.*
I know that sometimes I wonder.  I have questioned.  But the surety of that hope is what I have also clung to.  Accepting that gift. 

Sounds.....Scents ....Memories......

Three years ago while we were attending the county fair I got a phone call that jolted and changed my life.  Seemed to start the beginning of a time of stretching, growing, falling, crying, getting up, getting knocked down and out, a time of grief.  My Grandma, who had just had surgery, which had gone well and things were looking good for had gone into a comma that she would not awake from.  Last week, I got the same phone call, but this time about my Grandpa.  This was a little more expected, but still just as hard of news.  3 major people in my life all gone in a 3 year time frame.  I guess the light that seemed be getting brighter in the tunnel was another train.  I think that I will always have that feeling of being on a tilt-a-whirl now when I am at the county fair.  Like life is spinning out of control.  Hearing the screams from the "zipper" carnival ride in one ear while hearing that your life is changing in a drastic way in the other. 

Scent is a powerful memory trigger.  The fresh cut smell of grass reminding you of summer.  The smell of rain showers on sagebrush. The scent of roses. The smell of a nursing home. This evening my husband got out the chainsaw to cut a piece of wood for a friend who was over.  That scent takes me back.  All my life we have had wood stoves to heat our houses so wood cutting has always been important.  Both of my Grandpas were Tree Farmers.  The smells and sounds associated with cutting wood with a chain saw brings back flashes of memories from all my life.  Cutting logs with my Grandpa Glenn.  Trimming trees with Grandpa Gene.  Hauling wood with my Dad.  It was interesting as I was almost crying just because the load of memories that scent dropped on my heart.  I love the smell, but so many people associated with that smell have gone on before me.   The memories are good, but they still hurt.  My emotional reserves have been depleted.  The memories hit hard and at odd times for odd reasons.  Life is interesting. 

Life is a canvas - throw all the paint on it you can!      - Kaye

Memories . . . Pictures in time . . .

I was looking for  some pictures for a slide show tonight.  Looking back through snapshots of our lives over the last several years.  So many memories.  Good ones.  Sad ones.  Things that are funny.  A little boy with missing teeth. New puppies. Branding calves. Building a deck. Raking leaves. Sending balloon messages heavenward. Mongolia. Thanksgivings. Painting. School. Funerals. Visits. Trips. Whales. Lego's. Museums.  Rodeos. Lasts.  Gobi Desert. Pigs. Class projects. Christmas. Building. Snow forts. Sledding. Firsts. So many memories captured.
It is so true that a picture speaks a thousand words.  My son just put together a 5 picture collage of the fire we had a few weeks ago to enter in the fair.  It is a good set of pictures and truly captures what he found most intriguing from that fire.  The helicopters. 
I looked through these pictures seeing things that have changed so much.  People that have come into my life and mean so much when not so long ago I never knew them.  People who meant so much in my life that are now gone from me.  Life brings so much change.  Things happen.  Life Happens.  Sometimes it would be so nice to just be able to push pause.  Sometimes rewind or fast forward on life.  To see what is a bit ahead.  Or to be able to go back and say or do something different.  But we can't.  The wheels continue to go around.  What are the things that we will look back on in a few years and smile, cry or laugh about.  Life continues to happen.  Enjoy! 

 

..... Love Truly ..... Hug Tightly ..... Life Fully ..... Kiss Slowly .....

Sand . . .

Sand Blasted rocks.  People travel thousands of miles to see these truly spectacular and amazing works of art.  Created by sand blown and blasted for years at these enormous rocks.  Hollowing them...cutting them...wearing away at the weak spots... creating new cracks...working and wearing them down.  A thing of beauty.  A work of art.  All done with sand and wind.  No wonder we use a sand blaster if we want to get something truly clean.  Truly abrasive. We got to travel to Arches National Park near Moab on our way to a friends wedding in Colorado.  Our first true American Road trip.  It was fun.  We stopped where we were when it was time and we saw some incredibly beautiful country.  Impressive!  Spectacular.  Amazing! 
Another stop on this road trip was my favorite though.  We stopped at what is now a reservoir out of Vernal, UT and hiked about 1.5 miles in really hot weather to see big dinosaur tracks.  They were footprints left over from some bygone time when these huge creatures roamed the earth.  Talk about something you would not want to meet in the dark!  Or the light either for that matter!  Obviously they had walked through the wet sand which had then hardened and turned to stone and these tracks remain and the bones remain to bear evidence.  These were impressive to look at!  A bit scary to think of these creatures walking around right here.  But so cool!   


Kind of got me thinking though... Scary these days!  :)  Sand and wind are what wore away these great stones and while making them more beautiful also made them weaker.  What is wearing away at me? What sand and wind are beating on my life.  It seems there has been plenty of that lately.  Life throws interesting things at us.  How do we hold up to them?  Sometimes well.  Sometimes not so much.  But keep on going.  Knowing that this verse holds truth about how important we are to the one who created us . . . and the dinosaurs!

¹⁷ How amazing are your thoughts concerning me, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.    Psalm 139:17 & 18

He already knows what life is going to throw at us.  And what our reactions will be.  He knows when we will fall.  He knows when we will stand.  And is right there to help us up or cheer us on!

Birthday

I celebrated my 29 and still holding birthday this last weekend.  It was a lot of fun.  We went to a park party with friends whose daughter was celebrating her birthday as well.  So much fun.  Kids played and played in the water and on the slide and just had so much fun.  The adults had a great time visiting and getting to know each other better.  We had BBQ and yummy birthday cake.  Having good friends with which to spend your birthday makes the day just all that much better!  Thank God for fun friends!